Bleeding edge dating guide on how to avoid dating the kooks who seem to always pop up when looking for Mr. or Ms. Right.
spotting the kooks
The idea is the front and back cover are different perspectives fo the same scene. If the choice is a man or woman for the front cover then it should be a man on the front cover.
Front cover is a man and a woman meeting at a coffee shop, standing at the hostess station, shaking hands. We see the front of the guy and and side of the girl. Both are good looking. Very slightly noticable, something you would almost miss on first glance, is a little devil tail peeping out from her skirt. And little horns almost hidden by her headband.
The reverse on the back cover same scene, except we see the guy is holding an ax behind his back! Back cover needs room for the ISBN bar code box on the bottom, and room for description and endorsements.
Size is 8.5 h x 5.5 w
Read the introduction to get a sense of the style:
Youshould know right up front that I’m a reformed brazen hussy. It’s part of whatmakes me eminently qualified to write this book! For years I sought theemotional roller coaster ride of misbegotten love affairs, jumping from boy toman to man to boy. Yeah. I got around. It’s okay. I own that.
Boycould I pick ‘em. (Not.) I was the girl who believed everything guys told me toget me into bed; I fell for it everysingle time. Like most children of divorce, I had a picker that was off.Big time. I desperately wanted to trust the men I fell in love with, but I washopelessly ignorant of their lying, thieving, cheating ways.
I dated some real winners, men who were not whatthey seemed, men who were broken, men who were full of themselves, men whoprobably didn’t like me much but still tried to bag me. The pinnacle of loserswas the guy who told me he was the VP of a plastics company and turned out tobe a drug dealer who, when I moved out, threatened to have me kidnapped, raped,and shipped to Africa to be sold into white slavery. I told you I could pick‘em.
Every relationship was fated to fail because mypriorities were way out of whack. That is, until I finally wised up and gotserious about finding a good match.
Tiredof dating losers, I decided to go for broke and went on one hundred dates inthirty days, which basically meant I scheduled a date for breakfast, lunch, anddinner every day for an entire month. Despite the fact that I hated dating, Idove in with gusto. Working my dates like an assembly line, I got clear aboutmy expectations. I had no choice; with so many dates, I didn’t have time tomess around. And I didn’t have time to fall in love blindly - be swept off myfeet - or ignore warning signals that had previously slipped right past me.
Afterone hundreds dates I developed the ultimate picker. I could spot a catch frommiles away. Better yet, I could spot the losers, jerks, and freaks I “lovingly”referred to as “kooks.” Later, I parlayed my experiences as a second wife into apassion for asset protection and became a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.And after working with scores of couples in the throes of divorce, I honed mykook detector into the fine instrument it is today.
And myco-author, AJ? Well, she earned her kook-dar the hard way, too. Spookystrangers feigning laryngitis to get a date with her, hundreds of pervertsresponding to a very classy personal ad, schemers, scammers, and double-dippers– she’s seen them all, or bumped up against them. That was all before she metMrs. Right, slipped on a diamond, and lived happily ever after inillegally-wedded bliss. But her picker is still in tip-top shape, so much sothat her buddies regularly put their intendeds through the “AJ Test” beforethey get serious.
Whatif AJ and I you could spot the real losers before you open your life to them?What if you could see the truth about your guy or gal before the damage wasdone? What if you could spot the kooks before they tattoo your heart?
You can spot the kooks. You just need toknow how.
Peopleoften ignore the whispers of doubt and explain away the warning signals all forthe sake of new love. The last thing you want to believe about your lover,partner, or spouse, is that he or she is not your perfect match. Consideringthe notion that your sweetheart is not what he or she seems, may never change,can’t love your the way you really want to be loved, or, worse, is a danger toyour personal safety and financial well being, can be downright impossible.
Thatis, unless you know the signs.
Webegan this project by sharing our dating disasters, polled our friends, andthen came up with a list of kooks we’ve known and loved. This book is our giftto all of the single (and attached) straight and gay men and women out thereslogging through the dating world. It’s a guide to spotting the most common“worst date” and “worst mate” personalities, the guys and gals who aren’t worthyour time and certainly aren’t worthy of your love. In this book, you’ll learnthe style, motives, and strategies employed by nineteen of the worst offenders,from the benign Baby to the dangerous Control Freak.
However,this book does not include shopaholics, alcoholics, overeaters, anorexics, drugaddicts, and the like because these are people with diseases of the mind, bodyand soul. These people are not kooks. Don’t kooks have psychological problemsjust like drug addicts and people with eating disorders? Yes. Kooks often havecomplicated psychological problems that influence their kooky behavior. (Don’twe all?) But if your guy or gal has a bona fide, diagnosed addiction ordisorder, I would not characterize him or her as a “kook.” The American Heritage Dictionary defines a kook as, “A personregarded as strange, eccentric, or crazy.” But the word is slang, and in thisbook it is used to describe anyone who isn’t worth wasting precious Saturdaynights on.
We’ll also clue you in on what you can do toprotect yourself if you’re just not sure that your dreamboat is really a kook,and you want to maintain the relationship. And if you’re looking for new placesto search for your one true love, flip to the Venue Menu at the back of thebook for our take on the best ways to meet single guys and gals.
Kissing frogs is a waste of time. You need to cutstraight to the chase and get on with your happily ever after. Happy pickin’!
Beforeyou dive in, a quick note about how we approached this book:
AJ andI understand that writing from two points of view can be confusing, so we’vewritten this entire book from a single point of view, but that point of view iscollective. We’ve incorporated all of our shared experiences into one voice andone narrator, thereby making it easier for you, the reader, to read. Inaddition, we think part of what makes this book so strong is that it relatesrelationship mistakes and mishaps, crimes and misdemeanors that we’ve both made(and probably you, too). So when you read us saying, “I did this or I didthat,” the fact is it probably applies to both of us, which is why it doesn’tmatter which one of us is speaking, or writing, at that moment. We hope thesingular point of view doesn’t case confusion. We think it avoids it.
How to Avoid the Kooks
An ounce of kook prevention is worth apound of therapy. Spotting kooks before they worm their way into your heart canbe the difference between, “Oh well,” and, “Why me?” The best protection fromthe kooks of the world is to make yourself undesirable to the undesirables.Here’s how:
The dating world is full of shape shifters andchameleons, people who change who they are to seem more appealing to the objectof their affection. From their appearance to their interests to their politicalleanings, people alter aspects of themselves in the hopes of getting a phonenumber, a date, or a marriage proposal.
First of all, it’s lying. We all do a little bit ofit when we’re trying to partner up. No woman really wants to wear four-inch heels all day every day or watch footballfor ten hours straight. No man leaps at the chance to watch his woman try onnineteen different dresses.
But the dishonesty I’m referring to goes deeperthan that; it’s about changing something fundamental about you in an attempt toattract and please a potential mate. You are who you are. Don’t tone yourselfdown or make something up for anyone. When you stand in your truth, you aremore apt to notice when someone is trying to feed you a line or steer you offcourse. When you are rooted in your own authenticity, kooks are less likely tocome knockin’.
Kooks prey on the timid. They’re not interested insomeone who exudes self-confidence. A person who appears weak and insecure ismore likely to let a kook in and then get away with just about anything. AndI’m not talking about on-the-job confidence, the kind that got you thatpromotion and a company car. I’m talking about relationship confidence. Eventhe highest rollers can have pea-sized self-worth when it comes to affairs ofthe heart.
Cultivate confidence and the kooks will thinktwice about approaching you. How do you do that? It’s easier than you think.Pretend to take yourself off the market and fill your time with creative,adventurous, and charitable endeavors. Focus on making yourself happy ratherthan waiting for some nameless stranger (i.e. kook) to sort it all out for you.Expand your horizons, take chances, and learn something new. Help others, digup childhood dreams, and take a giant bite out of life. Of course, you wouldlike to meet the love of your life, so you’re not totally off the market. But you’re more likely to meet your dreamguy or gal when you’re focused on living life to the fullest. And you’re LESSlikely to run into kooks in the process.
Stay In the Moment
When you’re dating someone, you’re more likely tospot the kook if you stay completely present. Most of us (myself included)think WAY too much about the future when we’re getting to know someone. It’sunderstandable; you’re sizing up the match, thinking long-term, wondering ifthis new dreamboat is a total waste of your time.
One of the problems with this futurethinking is that it’s not based in reality. The last thing you want to do ishitch up with someone’s potential rather than the real person. Another downsideis that the dreaming and planning distracts you from sizing up your sweetie asis. What if you miss a big red flag because you’re busy reading baby name booksor picking out rings? What if you’re so focused on the future you can’t spotthe kook sitting right next to you, holding your hand?
This book will teach you how to spotsome of the most common kooks around, but until you get right with yourself,you’re always going to be susceptible to them. When you are genuine, confident,and rooted in the present moment, the kooks won’t stand a chance.
- Item 1...Title: "Spotting The Kooks"
- Item 2... Subtitle: "The Top 19 Kooks Who Waste Your Time, and a Venue Menu of great places to meet your match"
- Item 3... "by Adryenn Ashley and Anjanette Harper"
- Item 4... "by the Award Winning and Best Selling Author of "Every Single Girl's Guide to Her Future Husband's Last Divorce" "
- Item 5... Must include fonts and layered photoshop files.
- Item 1... don't be too girly. This book is for men and women